THE WAYS WE SAY “I LOVE YOU”

Written and illustrated by Caroline Hadilaksono

(Orchard Books; $18.99, Ages 4-8)

 

 

 

 

 

Publisher Description:

For some families, saying ‘I love you’ comes out easily. For others, they show ‘I love you’ in other caring ways. Author-illustrator Caroline Hadilaksono’s sweet story explores the many thoughtful ways we show our love to each other, whether it’s spending time together or hidden in a ‘have you eaten yet?’

Review:

 

As I read her thoughtfully crafted picture book The Ways We Say “I Love You,” I felt as if author-illustrator Caroline Hadilaksono was speaking to me. I grew up in a family where I knew I was loved, but the sentiment was shown way more frequently than said. I’ve written essays about how my father took me shopping and my mother took me to the theater, but hearing those three words verbalized was uncommon in my family.

 

 

 

 

What’s so wonderful about this picture book is that it offers children who have been raised in households similar to mine the opportunity to see that actions often speak louder than words. Hadilaksono also gently conveys in her warm illustrations that many cultures demonstrate their love this way, which doesn’t mean a child is loved any less. The way the siblings share a story time (see the illustration above) says love. The tender way the parents watch and don’t interrupt the special moment says love. That’s why this book would be great to share for Valentine’s Day, especially if the giver knows the book is depicting them. It’s a great way to start the conversation about all the different ways there are to say I love you.

 

 

 

Spending time with a grandparent, great aunt, or other esteemed elder is a special way to show love. Sharing and passing along a traditional family recipe while cooking together also demonstrates love. The various spreads show diverse families and the love their actions convey, whether that’s feeding a child, talking long distance on a video call, or teaching a child to ride a bike, being there if they fall, and cheering them on when they succeed.

In her touching backmatter Author’s Note, Hadilaksono writes that in her Indonesian culture, her parents never said, “I love you,” and people didn’t generally say it to one another. It was much more of an “American thing” from movies and TV. She captures the heart of her picture book when she explains that while she’s still learning how to say “I love you” to the important people in her life, she also understands that there are many ways to say” I love you.” The beautiful artwork, rendered in watercolor and gouache textures, was composed digitally and adds to the feel-good mood this story brings to readers.