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A Competitive Perspective by Deborah Ann Davis, Guest Blogger

A Competitive Perspective
by Deborah Ann Davis, B.S., M.Ed., W.I.T.S.

When I was a little girl, my country town didn’t have girls’ sports, so I didn’t have any formal exposure to organized competition at a young age. I use the word organized to differentiate between athletic competition, and that which girls did to compete for boys’ attention. I certainly partook in the latter.

Basketball-Clipart.jpgIn high school, I cheered madly for the basketball captain I was crushing on. I was myopic in my focus on him (oh, right… there were other people on the court, too), but that focus provided me with an unusual view of competition- the view he held. He was a fabulous athlete who was known to congratulate his opponents on good shots and good moves. It drove his track coach crazy when he helped his opponents with their jumping technique (yeah, I followed him in track, too). He believed that every competition was a platform for learning, about himself and others, so I learned to believe that, too.

When our daughter (yeah, I married him twelve years later) began playing basketball, we decided to coach her AAU (Amateur Athletic Union) team so she would learn about competition in its purest form… and here it is: In any competition, the only one you can ever truly compete against is yourself. Win or lose, you have to ask yourself, “Did I do better this time than I have ever done before?”

Who cares if you smoke a bush-league opponent? Where is the honor in that? We taught our players to work on their skills instead of crushing weaker opponents. Instead of racking up the points, they moved the ball around the court until every teammate scored. Rather than feeding the ball to the go-to scorers, they selected something to improve (blocking, passing, boxing out, rebounding, etc.). Honing their skills taught them to control the tempo of the game.

JumpingBut what about when they lost? It was crushing to young girls unaccustomed to losing. The first thing we did in our (sometimes tearful) post-game huddle was to review their stats and emphasize their personal bests. We reminded them anyone who achieved a personal best had successfully competed, especially in the face of a stronger team. Grins replaced tears as they listened to how they improved, strengthening their resolve to do better the next game.

Was this philosophy effective? It sure was. By the time they finished Middle School, they had swept States two years in a row. In the ninth grade, nine of our players were starters for their High School Varsity teams.

The lesson here is that no matter how you train, or how much you prepare, you cannot control whether you win or lose because you cannot control who shows up to compete against you, whether in sports, in grades, or in job interviews. But no matter who shows up, you can control whether you do your best. You can learn and improve in the face of adversity until you achieve your goals.

And, as Petir tells Maid Rianne in Fairly Certain, you have control over who you bring to the game.

DebDavis-240x300.jpgFairly Safe, Deborah Ann Davis’ second novel,
will be available at the end of February 2015.
www.DeborahAnnDavis.com/books
Click here to read Deborah Ann Davis’ blog.

 

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this guest post are solely those of the author and may not not necessarily reflect the opinions of Good Reads With Ronna reviewers.

 

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Author Carol Weston is Our Guest Blogger Today

Good Reads With Ronna is thrilled to share today’s guest post from Carol Weston.

Carol-Weston.jpg
Author Carol Weston
Photo Courtesy of
© Linda Richichi

Weston is the author of the popular Melanie Martin novels, AND the woman behind the “Dear Carol” advice column in Girl’s Life magazine! Weston joins us as part of her Ava and Pip (her latest tween book) Blog Tour. If you didn’t read Rita Zobayan’s review of Ava and Pip, here’s the link to bring you up to speed. Also, be sure to scroll down all the way for our giveaway details.

“Have you ever done something you never wanted anyone to know about?  Quirky word-obsessed fifth grader Ava did, and now she’s about find out what happens when you let things get too far. Get ready to have fun with Ava who’s ready to do anything to help her older sister Pip finally come out of her shell.”

But now, without further ado, Carol Weston shares her thoughts on a topic confronting many kids, tweens and teens today, and yes Virginia, even when we were growing up in the Dark Ages before social media!

GRWR asked Carol Weston a question and here’s what she wrote.

“As for your tough question …

– ‘Have you ever done something you wish you could take back?'”

Oh man, haven’t we all? That said, while Ava and Pip is about a good kid who does a bad thing, I myself am not racked with guilt about having been a bully or committed any crimes. This is not to say I was a goody goody as a child. I was not, and I will now tell a story I’ve never told before.

minicopyWhen I was in fourth grade, I was a Girl Scout. One day, a dozen of us in forest green dresses and dark green sashes went on a Girl Scout field trip. I’m not sure what badge we were off to earn, but we all arrived at the police station in Westchester, north of New York City, where I grew up. A policeman met us and showed us around.

I was not a little klepto. But apparently back then, I did have a thing for thumbtacks. Not the flat silver kind. The colorful plastic pushpin kind. Yellow! Red! Green! Blue! Well, that day the policeman showed us a giant bulletin board dotted with bright pushpins. I was dazzled. When the policeman started leading our troop into the next room, I lingered behind, looked both ways, and pocketed a few. I truly did. I stole thumbtacks from a police station while wearing a Girl Scout uniform! Was it a bulletin board that showed crime scenes? If so, after I’d done my deed, it may have seemed like there was less crime in Scarsdale, New York, when in fact a little criminal was right in their midst!

Soon afterward, my young friends and I got into making phony phone calls and ringing doorbells and running. In math class, if we were taking a hard multiple choice test, I sometimes took a seat by a math whiz so I could compare my answers with his or hers. And when I worked at a drugstore for minimum wage, I’ll confess that I pocketed a lipstick. Maybe even two. (Three?)

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Glitter Girl – A Guest Post by Authors Toni Runkle & Stephen Webb

WHAT PRICE POPULARITY?
GLITTER GIRL GUEST BLOG & GIVEAWAY

Glitter Girl Book Cover
Glitter Girl by Toni Runkle and Stephen Webb, Sourcebooks Jabberwocky, 2013.

I’m delighted to turn this post over to guest bloggers,
Toni Runkle and Stephen Webb
(click here for website), authors of Glitter Girl
(Sourcebooks Jabberwocky, $7.99, ages 10 and up, also available as an ebook). 
Runkle and Webb, writing partners for close to a decade, and parents of young daughters, also call Los Angeles home. Today they’ll be addressing an all too common tween topic which incidentally is the premise for their terrific debut middle grade novel, Glitter Girl, featuring Kat Connors. There’s lots of great stuff to glean from this post so read on.

Friendship and loyalty vs. popularity – what works, what doesn’t and why is this such a big issue for girls?

Now I ask you readers and parents of girls, who amongst you has not had to deal with this troublesome tween dilemma? Ahhh, if only I’d had this book to hand to my daughter when she went through the trials and tribulations of tweendom. But you can have it!

Click here now to enter for a chance to win a free copy of the book courtesy of Sourcebooks Jabberwocky. Giveaway ends December 16, 2013 at midnight PST. Be sure to write GLITTER GIRL in the subject line and include your address. You can also enter on Facebook by posting a comment, but you’ll need to LIKE us for entry to be valid. Good luck! – Ronna

LIFE IN THE FAB LANE

Hi! I’m Kat. Welcome to my blog. I may be from a small town but I’m also Glitter Girl Cosmetics’ newest trendsetter. Thanks to my flair for fashion and my popular style blog, I’ve been chosen to be an Alpha Girl, which means I get to try out all the Glitter Girl products before they hit the stores.

Forty-eight hours after she blogs about the goodies in the new line, every girl at Kat’s school is sporting the gear. Kat’s popularity skyrockets, but Jules—Kat’s BFF—seems to be the only one who’s not buying into the Glitter Girl lifestyle. Is Kat willing to sacrifice her friendship for life in the fab lane?

 

RUNKLE & WEBB: Ah, the friendship and loyalty vs. popularity question. The age-old decision faced by adolescent girls since the beginning of time. We’re pretty sure there are cave drawings in northern Spain depicting this struggle.

We are parents of young daughters so we have seen this struggle first hand. Also, despite what our daughters  may think, we used to be young once, and while that was many moons ago, the scars of adolescence still linger. It’s an exceptional person who doesn’t have them. Mythical, in fact.

This is because as kids reach adolescence, an emotional drama begins to unfold. They become more – no, actually they become painfully, self-aware.  They examine every detail of their being, down to the pores on their noses. They are trying to figure out who they are, where they belong – if they belong.  It can be a very difficult time. There is a great deal of insecurity. Add to the mix the emergence of the “mean girl mentality” that begins at about age 11 or 12 and continues into middle school and girls have a particularly rough road into their teen years.

So of course, what adolescent girl wouldn’t want to be popular? The allure of everyone knowing your name, looking up to you, even liking you – the idea of not only fitting in, but standing out – not only is it intoxicating, it allows you bypass all the angst that comes with being the misfit.

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